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The big V word…surrender in progress

May 19, 2016

Would it surprise you if I told you I’m an introvert? Yup. I’m an introvert to the core really. Ask me to travel alone, no problem. Dare me to jump out of a plane, ok. I’ll even network and charm you. Yet ask me to share my heart in public, no script, raw, and my hands immediately clam up, my heart jumps a beat and I have no idea what to say. The trigger? The V word? VULNERABILITY. Oh and I really don’t like to be. As an artist I feel more alive expressing myself creatively, and I’ll be vulnerable in that, but it’s 99% of the time in private, with no words necessary. I share photos on social media, sure. I’ll pose in front of the camera, great. But it’s still in private. This month has been an interesting journey being in public…not much art cave time, and more in the public networking, which is a vital aspect to any business of getting your name out in the universe. I enjoy networking, don’t get me wrong. I’d just rather be in the Sahara under the stars or underwater in the Pacific…and yeah, that’s not going to pay the bills or get to where my soul wants to go.

I remember when I was an entertainment publicist over ten years ago, working with Hollywood’s finest actors, and at times they would whisper in my ear, “get me the hell out of here,” during a public interview. These actors I worked with, come to find out were some of the most shy people I’ve ever met. And you’d be very surprised who. I don’t consider myself shy, but I find myself joking to friends and colleagues, “ready for a bourbon,” when it came to being in public. Either way, it’s a process…learning to be vulnerable, and breaking through that. It’s funny that when things become uncomfortable, we think we’re the only one that feels that way. Nope. I’d say it’s safe to claim that most of us don’t like that feeling of vulnerability. Why? Men, especially…so much so my art class is now in a top secret location with the best bourbon imaginable…to get men to open up a bit creatively. I get it. I’m with you. And it will be epic.

So what’s the lesson? Becky Moffitt from Tuleburg reminded me about yoga earlier this week, in that the posture that is most difficult is the posture we need the most. I didn’t want to admit it in that moment. But she was very right. What are we so afraid of? Not being accepted? Looking like a fool? Not being understood? Well, that’s all BS. The one person that holds us back the most is ourselves, true? If so…what would it take to break free from the madness? I always say keep going, but I think in this case it’s doing the posture that is most difficult.

What’s your thing that holds you back? What’s the cure? Feel it and do it anyway…yes easier said than done. Fall out, fail…get back in and try again. Introvert or not, the world needs to see your gift…go rock it.

Much love,

Erin xo

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